Done, Day One

Done…my first muscle building workout ever. I have managed to exercise almost every single day for the past 20+ years. And though I have worked hard, this was new territory.

It was my weekly session with Nick, a drop set on the leg press. During setup we quickly determined what would be an insane weight and brought it way back. Looking for the working load I took it up to 10lbs short of impossible.

The set began. Just 8 reps. Deeper and with thrust, I ground them out. At 5 I knew the weight was a mistake. But 6 happened. Then 7, I’m not quitting. 8 done!

He took off 25 and had me start right in. The pain was instant and scorching

Loudly he said

“Deeper Brian”

“One more Brian”

“Build some muscle Brian”

“Come on Brian”

The whole room knew who I was and what I was trying to do. In my previous life I would have felt exposed, embarrassed and probably latched on to shame. I only had one way to understand them, through the cynical haze of my self loathing. But today I had this man I admire asking me to join him, he wasn’t challenging me, he was inviting me to become a brother. These weren’t announcements of my failure. He was calling me past my pain.

Finished the set, dropped another 25 and started back in. At 8, Nick said to keep going. My hands grabbed the brakes. But he wanted more. He saw more in me. 10. Lowering the weight became a hell of it’s own. Pushing was impossible. This is the pain they speak of. Nick’s belief took me further. These words that I would have hid from, pulled me into my life. It was pure, clean and I came home. At 15 he said go for 20. I got 16.  

When we were through, I blurted out that I loved him. He laughed, not the usual response from a client he’s just destroyed. But then again, he knows just how much crap we’ve laid waste to.

Thank you for reading. Comments and constructive conversation are always welcomed. I can be reached privately via the contact page.


4 thoughts on “Done, Day One

Add yours

  1. Weight lifting, heck any kind of exercise, is hell. However, it’s the kind of hell that people want lol! The pain produces beauty if you’re willing to push through it and see the bigger picture.

    Proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I’m going back for more. As bad as it was (and it was bad, I’m 100% sure I whimpered), it felt right in an odd way. Not punishment, if I would have gone there 10 years ago, that’s what it would have been, this was different.


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