This Body

This bodyEntwined of graceAnimalIntelligentSinewyPrecisionExposed This bodySolid On frameNoble of purpose Carved in pursuit. This bodyyou taught to hateStands unfurled Defiant to your indignitiesGlowing in now This bodyyou played to snuffBreathes deep This bodyyou sold Harbors incomfort and council This body is mine To build as I see fit How dare you dare. As witness This...

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Look/See

“How do I look?” will never answer “Who do I see?” Identity vibrates between states, skittling and shaking, hints of vaporous solids anchor the ends. False states are mingled in and overlaid. Aspirations tinged with hope, mislead. Opinion and insight can reveal, but not transmute ownership. I have a collection of facts, pasted and stapled...

Toddle On

Relaxed / Flexed Throughout the process I am encountering a number of challenges. Discarded candy wrappers beck and call me from the gutter. Tanning products exist in a matrix of superfluous information. Can workouts ever be productive enough?. But by far the most difficult for me is staying positive.  Again I plunged into a negative...

Transformation Tuesday

I can’t honestly discuss my bodybuilding journey without being candid. Changing my body has meant changing my mind. I have a complicated relationship with food. Those who have known me are shocked by the color of what I am now eating. I was known as the beige guy.  So many times I’ve been asked what...

Visual Assessment

We rely on photographs to tell us the truth. As an artist I should know better. But even so, I tend to believe what I see. For over 5 years I send Visual Assessment photos to my trainer. Once a month, I roll out of bed, and before I eat or drink I take the...

X Weeks Out

I am the proud owner of tiny, shiney posing briefs. If you know me, this may seem out of character. If you don’t, we’ll both be getting to know me. I am preparing for my first bodybuilding competition. It is how I choose to celebrate turning 60 years old. It is not a delayed midlife...

What now?

Scratchy thoughts collected as a note to a friend or many.

Long Absence

I haven't published in a terribly long time. At first, I thought I would be back shortly, then it stretched from weeks into months. I am officially taking a hiatus from the blog. As I work through my life, I have discovered I want to present my story with the breath only a longer format...

Brittle Veil

Untreated, trauma festers.