Flow ’74

2 years ago I came out on Facebook as a rape survivor.

Writing Prompt

Tell me what about this image. Are there stories in it? Is it a place, a state of mind, real or dreamt? Where is it in time? Does it host dramas, romances or comedies? Tag your work #BDD210406 More images to write about on my Instagram #writingprompts #prompt #prompts #promptlist #writingprompt #storyprompt #story #write #writersprompts...

distinctions – EMDR Journey Notes

Breathing is a right, not a privilege.

Onto Today – EMDR Journey Notes

I ask a thousand questions about the trauma. So much so, the inquisition became a mantra. The mantra, a cage. I sought to liberate myself by understanding every perspective of my experience. My approach was doomed from the start. There are questions I will never have the answer to. But even more importantly, by looking...

Dark Flutter – EMDR Journey Notes

Could everything you have ever been afraid of be unleashed? Would our monsters flutter away, tiny and frail? Would our bravery diminish their hold?I hold my fear in my chest, caged in my ribs. In a rage full fit, I snatched it. Dominated it. Claimed control and freedom. But they were hollow. Being a fortress...

To Now

The trauma we experienced leaves deep scars on our psyche. I was in my late 50’s when I faced my sever food aversions. I also faced the horrible reaction I had to my reflection. It was a lot of work in therapy, but paramount to my changing was the personal trainer I worked with. He...

Finding fondness for my 14 year old- EMDR Journey Notes

A few weeks ago I was confronted with just how much I hated my 14 year old self. I’ve done a lot of work in EMDR that has helped turn the table. Last night I encountered a deep compassion for him. I once couldn’t stand to be photographed, or to see my reflection in a...

My Promise, My Battle Cry- EMDR Journey Notes

I will not be haunted by a lingering sense of the past. I will bravely feel it’s full weight and all that it implies. Then, I will pass through it. Will I be healed or stronger? Possibly. But I do know I will be more whole and of myself  Not them. -My promise, my battle...

On a prick / balance- EMDR Journey Notes

The sessions have been getting intense. I have been fumbling around in an emotional muck. It’s left me unable to write. But I need to. I am going to be frank, so back away because there are ***TRIGGERS*** The update is pretty straight forward. The last EMDR session we targeted the moment I woke up...

Home

A video starts and you see yourself. What if your first, unedited thought was “handsome and muscular”? Bear with me. The assessment isn’t fueled with bloated pride, nor was it a notion born of hope. What was seen was not a Hollywood hunk or Mr. Olympia. It was simply an appreciative recognition. And I can...

Killed Pleasure- EMDR Journey Notes

***TRIGGERS*** I wasn't going to post this here, but I believe it maybe valuable to understand. I posted it in an online forum for survivors on 1-11-21. Last week I had maybe the most important therapy session ever. I began to talk in depth about a part of my experience I have often mentioned, but...